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It can be so hard to feel confident when you are trying to adapt to new experiences, new friends, and maybe even new places.
Trust me I know, as an introvert, I struggled with this the last two years.
But, it is so important to be proud of who you are and carry yourself in a way that reflects that.
Your first year (and maybe even second or third or fourth) can be intimidating, but making a conscious effort to be confident and positive will make a huge impact on your life.
People can tell if you aren’t sure of yourself. Maybe you talk down on yourself or avoid eye contact or maybe you just walk in a way that gives off that vibe.
No matter what it is, people can pick up on it.
In some cases, it can actually throw you into a cycle like the one pictured below.
Don’t worry! You can break the cycle with just a little effort of stepping out of your comfort zone. Scary, I know, but it’s so worth it! So, let’s get into it and talk about some ways you can be more confident.
If all else fails, take a common piece of advice and “fake it until you make it”.
Take care of yourself
If you have read any of my posts, you know I talk about self care a lot.
And no, I’m not sorry.
Self care is so important. Even if you don’t want to develop an entire personal development plan or routine, just making sure you get enough sleep, food, and water can make a huge difference.
Speaking of that, I should probably go get some water real quick.
Anddddd we’re back.
Anyways, there are so many ways to take care of yourself: mentally, physically, and even spiritually.
Gratitude journal
I won’t lie, I used to be the biggest Negative Nancy you’d ever meet. I was always considering what went wrong instead of appreciating the good that was right in front of my face. No matter how much I have tried gratitude journaling has always been a struggle. I used to think I had to make big elaborate lists of exactly what I was thankful for and why.
Guess what!
You don’t. All you have to do is think of a few things (even if it’s only one or two on some days) that made you truly happy and think about how much you appreciated it.
It doesn’t have to be anything huge. It could be a certain person, an event or maybe even just the weather
At the beginning of the semester, it rained the entire first week and there wasn’t any sign of stopping in the near future. You best believe the first day the sun came out, I was grateful.
In the picture is the journal I use for gratitude. I got it at Walmart for like $7 and it has so much more than just gratitude.
It allows you to track lessons you learned each day, screen time, self care, hydration, and even weekly recaps. If you are interested you can find the link here.
Affirmations
If you’re new to affirmations, it may sound dumb to just keep repeating a bunch of positive sentances in your head. As crazy as it sounds though, it works! The more you tell yourself these things, the more you start to believe them.
On the flip side of this, the more you tell yourself negative things, or even tell others about negative experiences, the more they weigh on you! Don’t believe me?
Check out Chatter: The Voice in Our Head by Ethan Cross.
Join an organization
It does not have to be a sorority!
I REPEAT
It does NOT have to be a sorority!
Join an honors society. A gaming club. A community service club. The craziest, most out there club you can find.
It doesn’t matter what you join just find a club that aligns with your interests and values and get involved!
Serving a club allows you to feel connected to people that have similar interests in you, which makes you feel at home.
If you don’t feel like you belong where you are, it is going to be nearly impossible to feel confident.
List what you are self conscious about
I know this sounds like torture. Who the heck wants to actively think about every single flaw they have all at once?
No one. That’s who. Not a single person.
But by doing this you can get down to the root of the problem and identify what is making you unhappy. Sometimes (or let’s be real, most of the time) the only reason we think of our features as flaws is simply because society told us to.
No to be cliche, but everyone has their flaws, and at the same time every single person on this earth is perfect just the way they are.
Stop Comparing yourself to others
Duh! You probably hear this from every single article, book or post you read. Comparing yourself to others is just sending you down a dark road. Everyone has hard times in their lives. No one has it all figured out no matter how well they seem to be doing.
If I had to guess, I would say you aren’t parading around your biggest insecurities or flaunting all your failures. Neither are they, especially on social media. If social media is your poison, if it leads you down that dark road, remember it is just the highlights of people’s lives.
Yes, even when they add #makeinstagramreal or whatever other “this is exactly what my life is like” hashtags they decide to add. They still have those dark secrets hidden, I promise you.
Stop Judging Others
“What does that have to do with me” you may wonder. Pointing out everyone else’s flaws does not make yours go away. In fact, it simply brings more light to yours in the long run.
You cannot go around critiquing every person you see, even if its just in your head. It is going to make everything worse. Most of the time your insecurity is what drives this habit, which means you are giving that insecurity power over your mind.
I know sometimes it seems so subconscious to do anything about it, but it is possible to change it. Yes, it take time, and effort, and a lot of conversations with yourself in your head, but it is possible.
Be friends with positive people
I don’t know who said it first, but the popular statement that you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with has some truth to it. If everyone around you is a Negative Nancy, chances are you won’t be very confident yourself. On the podcast, Mindset Mentor, Rob has an episode discussing batteries and vacuums.
No, not actual batteries and vacuums. That would make for a pretty boring episode.
As he explains, Batteries are people that energize you and bring positivity into your life. Vacuums, on the other hand, suck all that positivity and energy out of you. Sometimes, we don’t even realize who the vacuums are in our life until it’s too late. That’s okay!
One thing we can do is go into relationships with this concept in mind
Work toward your goals
As humans, we cannot be satisfied staying stagnant. Staying in one place with nothing to look forward to keeps us from living to our full potential.
Setting great goals for yourself, and finding ways to reward yourself when you meet your goals, is a great way to make yourself more confident. It’s also a good way to keep yourself from reverting back to old habits that no longer serve you.
For me, it is easiest to set one long-term goal, which I then break down into smaller weekly or daily goals. However, not all goals can be broken down into daily, weekly or even monthly goals. In this case, setting benchmarks to know your on track can be helpful.
It is also important to give yourself a small amount of room for error. Reaching your goals is not always a linear path. Sometimes you are going to go backwards a few step before excelling in your path. That’s okay as long as you make sure your overall progress is positive.
Get a Sweat in
Staying fit in college can be so difficult. The food isn’t always the most appetizing or even nutrition. Your schedule isn’t always set in stone, and things don’t always go as planned. Finding your stride when it comes to your health can be hard.
Great news though! Walking to your classes is usually almost enough to fulfilled the recommended amount of movement for the day.
However, a good intentional workout does the body ( and the confidence) good, too.
If you’re like me, going to the gym every day sounds about like being pushed down the side of a mountain. Guess what?
You do not have to go to the gym every single day. In fact, you don’t have to go to the gym at all. Finding a means of exercise that works well does not always look the same for everyone. Actually, it might not even look the same for you from year to year.
In previous years, society has always made me think I needed either gain muscle or lose weight to validate my time working out. I have spent previous semesters determined to walk a crazy distance every day or spend hours on the machines in the gym. I always felt like I was wasting my time because I never saw the muscle gains or weight loss. This led me to give up pretty quickly.
In the grand scheme of things, working out is meant to make your body healthier, not skinnier or more muscular. Sure, with consistency and dedication you will drop the weight or pile on the muscle, but that should be the ultimate goal.
Talk to someone
If it is a real problem for you, maybe you get anxious any time you have to go in a public setting, you can get professional help. Most insurance cover therapy to some extent.
Therapy can be a daunting experience at first, especially with all the stigma around mental health.
Regardless, going to therapy is not something to be ashamed about. In fact, almost everyone has something that therapy could help them with.
Help other people
Volunteering is such a great way to be more confident. It allows you to be humbled while also bringing joy to those around you. Since I started college, I have wanted to find a place that I felt like I was making a difference in the lives of others. I have tried community centers, dog shelters, and more and I haven’t quite found it. However, these experiences did allow me to bring value to the lives of others.
Volunteering isn’t the only way to help out, though. Maybe your friend is having a hard week and needs someone to talk to. Just being there can be a great way to help out your friend, while also feeling like you have a purpose.
no matter what you decide to do to help out, I am sure it will make you feel a bit better about yourself in the long run.
Identify your weaknesses
Personally, my biggest weakness is my ability to follow through. I know I can’t be the only one, either. I will make plans for every day of the week, and when that day comes I want to cancel every single one. However, it’s not just plans with other people. It’s plans with myself, too. You know the times, you promise to start going to the gym next week and then Monday rolls around and…. NADA. You can bet I’m laying in my bed thinking about how I need to go to the gym.
I know if I can’t even count on myself, then I shouldn’t expect others to count on me, either. SO, this year, I have started to work on that weakness, so I can be more confident about my ability to be a good friend to others as well as myself.
Maybe your weakness isn’t following through, though. Maybe, it’s making plans in the first place, or managing your time so you can make plans or even just making an effort to improve yourself in general.
Regardless of your weakness, there is always a way to fix it as long as you are willing to sacrifice the time, effort and possibly money to do so.
What is holding you back from being your most confident self?